I had an amazing conversation with Brenda this evening and I am still trying to answer several questions. When do I feel most myself? How do I ground myself in the world? What is worth staying here for? Do I believe it is possible to fall in love again and have it reciprocated? Do I believe people are capable of loving and understanding me? Does everything hurt so much I would rather not be here?
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I try not to judge people’s answers to the last question, and I completely understand why sometimes the answer is “Yes”, but I hope the greater answer is “No.” You brighten this world, and it appears to me this world still manages to brighten you.